Saint Matthew Parish issued the following announcement on Jan. 3.
The family is central to the Church. Pope John Paul II once stated, “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the world in which we live.”
Yet, family is becoming a more and more diffuse concept in today’s society. Each member of the family, it seems, is busier than ever before, and sometimes it is difficult to connect. The influences of modern media, peers and other voices compete for our children’s attention. How can we help our children carry both our love and our guidance with them when we cannot be close by? By nurturing a family identity.
Our identity is that set of ideas, values, behaviors and attitudes that make us who we are. Identity is commonly associated with particular groups to which we belong or organizations where we work or go to school. Having a sense of family identity means feeling we belong in our families. It means sharing a well-defined set of values and traditions, knowing what we have in common and what makes us unique.
Be consistent in limit setting. If children receive mixed messages from mom and dad about what the rules are, respect for both parents, and for family limits in general, is undermined. Make sure you set limits you can stick to, and back one another up. Be sure to practice what you preach. Setting a good example is the most important part of consistency.
Tell your kids what you appreciate about them. Watch for at least one opportunity each day to say something good. Whenever possible, link the good things you see with family characteristics — for example, “You are very considerate of others, just like your Grandma Mary.”
Be sure to take time to talk with each child and get to know his or her personal interests. Allow the children to choose some family activities, even if the activity doesn’t particularly interest you as an adult. At times, it might be necessary to “expand” your identity as a family to fit some special interests of some of its members. This will help the kids know that even their unique characteristics are welcome in your home.
Establish family rituals. Bedtime rituals for younger kids, certain ways of marking birthdays and holidays, and traditions from our cultural backgrounds can all be family rituals — particular things we do over and over again in the same way. Family rituals are a tremendous source of unity and tend to remain with us throughout our lives. Are there some rituals you remember from your childhood that you can bring back for your own children?
Stay in touch with extended family. Our increasingly mobile society has made it less common for us to have all of our extended family nearby. Be sure to stay in touch with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins through letters, emails and phone calls. When possible, arrange for extended family visits as well.
This article comes to you from Take Out (Our Sunday Visitor) courtesy of your parish or diocese.
Original source can be found here.
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